


When flattery doesn't get you anywhere (try insults)

by Renmiriffx



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Crack-ish, Going to the movies, Insults, M/M, This Is STUPID, What do I usually tag in these silly ficlets?, casual flirts or something, have fun or something?, immature insults to be honest, picking on each other, whole new level of immaturity for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 20:13:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5756695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renmiriffx/pseuds/Renmiriffx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian was supposed to be on a date, but his date blew him off, so he was left alone in the line of the movie theatre. That didn't bother him so much, but the fucking guy behind him, shooting insults at him, might bother him a bit.</p><p> </p><p>So basically: my date blew me off, and now I can't afford the ticket, and this guy keeps insulting me, he threatens me, we lock eyes and fuck he's hot, dude I wanna bang him -AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	When flattery doesn't get you anywhere (try insults)

**Author's Note:**

> So what, I was like pissed today, felt like writing silly insults. (Fuck thinks it's a polite idea to ask me and my fiance to change OUR fucking wedding day cos someone else has a wedding that day? Seriously.)
> 
> So yeah, not my native language, IMA SORRY abt the grammar errors and typos.  
> Leave me some love cuties ~<3~  
> I don't bite, not hard anyways ;)

Ian was standing in the line to get a movie ticket, alone. His date had bailed the second Ian had told him what movie they were going to see. A dozen secondary Hollywood slasher crap. The downside of dating older men was the lack of humor. Who doesn’t get a laugh out when some slow motion killer with the stupidest weapon (like Freddy Krueger with his butter knifes) chases the blond girl who has enormous boobs? Doesn’t get much cheesier than that, but that’s why it’s so fun. Predictable and stupid. You can always count the clichés and get yourself a drinking game out of it. Which was exactly what Ian was about to do.

But his date hadn’t seen it that way. He’d said that it was immature and grown boys shouldn’t act like that. Jerry or what was his face, had brushed Ian off and left him there alone. Fuck him, Ian thought. If he wants to see a slasher flick, then he’s going to see one. Even if it means seeing it alone.

The que moved and finally it’s his turn to buy the ticket, so Ian checks his pocket for his wallet and realizes that he’d left it at home, remembering that Jerry was supposed to pay for the date.

“Ay, asshole! It’s your fucking turn, buy the ticket already.”

Ian hears someone shouting behind him, but doesn’t think much of it. Without even turning to see whose shouting, he just shrugs and starts going through his pockets for loose change.

“How much?” He asks the clerk.

“10 bucks, “ The petite brunette girl answers, giving Ian an understanding smile.

Ian stars emptying his pockets on the counter and the girl counts them.

“Come on dude! Where the fuck where you when they handed out brains? Taking a shit? A fucking dog could buy a ticket faster than you.”

The low growling voice behind him was starting to get more annoyed. Ian sheepishly smiled at the cashier girl, who smiled back, mouthing ‘it’s okay’. Ian was used to mean comments and they didn’t bother him, the trick was not to get offended by them, otherwise it would be either a trip to the E.R or jail. And neither of those options sounded tempting to Ian so he shook it off.

After he’d checked almost all of his pockets, he was still a buck short.

“Any change you could give me a little discount?” He asks the girl, who shakes her head.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t do that,” She frowns.

Ian frowns back, but doesn’t feel too bad about it, he could always try to sneak in. So he begins to collect his change from the counter.

“My fucking retarded pet snail’s faster than you! Move on it, or I’ll make you move. I’ll bake a pumpkin pie out of you.”

Ian sneers, the guy’s insults are shit and not even that threatening to be honest. And if he’s a dick, then Ian can be dick too. He cups his hand under the counter and starts pulling each coin separately with his finger, oh so painfully slowly, just to annoy the guy.

“Okay that’s it, I’m going to motherfucking end you. I’ll fucking terminate you, I’ll clean the floor with your tears, I’ll make jelly out of your blood,” The guy yanks Ian by his shoulder turning him around, “I’ll fucking—“

They both let out, almost simultaneously, a breathy:

“Fuck,” It’s like a quiet whisper when their eyes meet.

Glimmering yet icy blue eyes, raven colored messy hair (which Ian sees as the perfect bedhair), dirty atmosphere, rugged clothes and strong muscular arms (which Ian imagines from the tight grip on his bicep) Ian’s eyes drop down to those lips, those fucking perfect lips, when the tongue darts out between them, licking the corner of the mouth, Ian thinks he loses his shit.

“…me,” Ian accidently finishes his thought. He gulps, flinching and hopes the guy didn’t hear it, which is quite impossible since he’s literally like 6 inches away. But the guy doesn’t do anything, but pushes Ian aside and lurks over his shoulder, looking at the cashier.

“How much was he short?” He asks.

“A buck,” The girl answers him.

“Well fuck, gimme two tickets for the movie,” The guy says, handing a twenty to the cashier.

Ian’s dumbfucked, shot by a lighting. Was the guy actually buying him a ticket? Or was he just imagining the whole scenario playing in front of him? But the guy hands him the ticket, a wide smirk plastered on his face.

“Thanks?” Ian says, munching his lip nervously. “I’ll pay you back?” He tries saying or asking.

The guy gets his receipt and turns his eyes back on Ian.

“Ay you’ll pay me back alright,” He says, discreetly glancing down to Ian’s crotch.

“Oh,” Ian lets out, brows high.

“But first we’ll watch that movie,” He says and turns to head to the cinema door. “You coming or what firecrotch?” He laughs.

Ian brakes free from his frozen state and follows the guy.

“I’m Ian by the way,” Ian says, reaching out his hand.

“Don’t care if you’re Pinocchio, but I wouldn’t mind if something does grow like his nose,” He smirks. “Nah man, I’m Mickey.”

Ian smiles coyly to him.

They find their seats easily and the theatre goes black, besides the giant screen in front of them. Darkness, that wonderful thing. Let’s just say the boys didn’t quite make through the movie…

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to drop prompts on my tumbler.  
> And fuck, I'm out, peace <3


End file.
